i think i have two assholes
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
