Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
