hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
