Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
