i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
