69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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