Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
