Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
