Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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