my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
