I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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