it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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