would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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