Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
