so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You don't make any sense
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