Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you inspire me to be a worse person
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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