I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he high fived his dick after we had sex
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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