I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
