whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
