the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
two words: eviction party
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Semen is not good for contacts.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
