Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
