you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
