I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
foreskin is a definite game changer
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
