We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
