Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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