You really coming over, don't trick.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
