and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
