how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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