I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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