thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize