Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I need moral support for this bender
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
