this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize