i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
