good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
