i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
