At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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