come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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