so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
