Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize