I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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