Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
