I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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