the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
