Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My life is pants optional.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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