I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
