After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize