even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
