Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
