I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize