I want to stick my p in your. b.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
