Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
