I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
