he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
