i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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