Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
