maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
