My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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