I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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