why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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