We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
