A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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