Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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