sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
