it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
