Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
