I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
