is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
